NO MORE BAGELS I BEG U NO MORE PLEASE MO MORE!!
NO MORE BAGELS I BEG U NO MORE PLEASE MO MORE!!
‘Take your brother and go outside as fast as you can! Don’t look back! Now, Dean, go!”
His fathers words rang in his ears as he drove down that long dark stretch of highway with no one by his side. Had he looked at the speedometer, he’d realize he was going well over the speed limit, pushing Baby probably way harder than he should have.
Memories from his past were coming back in bits and pieces, flashes of things that had embedded into his memory long ago, and not so long ago. His mind drifted back to when he was twelve, and Sammy was eight.
“Shut up! Don’t you ever talk about mom! Ever!”
The way that so much of it was coming right back to him kept him silent as he stared off down the straight highway.
"I swear, if you ever tell dad I told you any of this, I will end you." "Promise." "First thing you have to know is…we have the coolest dad in the world. He’s a superhero." "He is?" "Yeah. Monsters are real. Dad fights em. He’s fighting them right now."
]His hand moved to where the amulet used to hang around his neck. He held his hand there, feeling the bare neck. He remembered that Christmas. Sam gave him that amulet. It wasn’t intended for him, he knew that.
Memories of hunts from the past coming to mind. The werewolf, the kitsune…. Then going to pick up Sam from school. All of the hunts while they were trying to find John. The accident… His hands rubbed the steering wheel carefully.
"Come on, Dad. You’ve got to help me. I’ve got to get better, I’ve got to get back in there. You haven’t called a soul for help, you haven’t even tried. Aren’t you going to do anything, aren’t you even going to say anything?! I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked me, everything. I’ve given everything I’ve ever had. Now you’re just going to sit there and watch me die? What the hell kind of father are you?!"
The memories that stuck in his mind from the coma after the crash. Now, it really didn’t make sense why John traded places with Dean, getting Azazel to take him instead. Dean looked to the passenger seat, then back to the road.
"Look at me, Sam. It’s not even that bad. It’s not even that bad, alright? Sammy? Sam! Listen to me. We’re going to patch you up, okay? You’ll be as good as new. I’m gonna take care of you, okay? I’m going to take care of you; I’ve got you, because that’s my job, right? Watching after my pain in the ass little brother. Sam? Sam? Sam?! Sammy?! No. No, no, no, no. Oh no come on. Oh God. SAM!"
His fingers tapped along on the steering wheel as he continued to drive. He could see headlights far behind him. He looked back to the road.
"You know, when we were little, you couldn’t have been more than five, you’d just started asking questions. How come we didn’t have a mom; Why do we always have to move around; Where’d Dad go.. when he’d take off for days at a time. I remember I begged you, quit askin’ Sammy. Man, you don’t wanna know. I just wanted you to be a kid. Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you, keep you safe. Dad didn’t even have to tell me. This was always my responsibility, you know. It’s like, I had one job. I had one job. And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that I’m sorry. I guess, that’s what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down, and now I guess I’m supposed to let you down too. How can I? Am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy… God.. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do?"
He drove on, looking to the clock on the dashboard. 2:14am…. He looked bck to the road, exhaling a bit.
"I got a year to live, Sam. I’d like to make the most of it. So what do you say we kill some evil sons of bitches and we raise a little hell, huh?"
Dean closed his eyes a moment. He could barely believe how the past years of his life had gone. It was like some bad dream. He opened his eyes, watching the road again. He looked to his cellphone. 9 missed calls…
“Who are you?” “Castiel.” “Yeah, I figured as much. I mean what are you..” “I’m an Angel of the Lord.” “Get the hell out of here. There’s no such thing.” “This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith.”
He shivered a bit as he remembered that. Meeting Castiel. Soon after, he was trying to help Sammy. Crazy fool getting addicted to demon blood….”What a kid….” He spoke out loud for the first time since he got into the car.
His mind trailed back to that one fight. He lay on the floor, struggling in pain. “If you walk out that door, don’t you ever come back..” Sam left….
He turned on the radio, needing to distract himself.
"I don’t know if it’s being a big brother or what, but to me, you’ve always been this snot-nosed kid that I’ve had to keep on the straight and narrow. I think we both know that’s not you anymore. I mean, hell, if you’re grown up enough to find faith in me, the least I can do is return the favor. So screw destiny right in the face. I say we take the fight to them and do it our way."
Dean suddenly heard the sirens behind him. “Shit!” he said, slowing down, pulling over. The officer came along and pulled over, and Dean was back in thought, hearing Crowley again.
‘Your brother, bless his soul, is summoning me as I speak. Make a deal, bring you back. It’s exactly about what I was talking about, isn’t it? It’s all become so… expected. You have to believe me. When I suggested you can take on the mark of Cain, I didn’t know this was going to happen. Not really. I mean, I might not have told you the entire truth. But I never lied. I never lied, Dean. That’s important. It’s fundamental. But… there is one story about Cain that I might have… forgotten to tell you. Apparently, he, too, was willing to accept death, rather than becoming the killer the mark wanted him to be. So he took his own with the blade. He died. Except, as rumor has it, the mark never quite let go. You can understand why I never spoke of this. Why set hearts aflutter of mere speculation? It wasn’t until you summoned me… no, it wasn’t truly until you left that cheeseburger uneaten… that I began to let myself believe. Maybe miracles do come true. Listen to me, Dean Winchester. What you’re feeling right now - it’s not death. It’s life - a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. And let’s go take a howl at that moon.’
“Sir, I’m not going to repeat myself. Get out of the car.” The officer demanded, clearly having asked a few times already. Dean moved to get out, and the officer was quick to push him against the car. “Any idea how fast you were going?” he asked. “No fucking idea…” Dean almost growled out. The officer moved to grab the asp, raising it. Dean grabbed the officers arms, looking at the man. After a blackout of what seemed like hours Dean looked around. He shifted, moving to slip back into the car, driving again as the now mangled corpse of the cop lay on the road. Dean looked to the seat again, swallowing as he saw the blade that had been placed in his hand by Crowley.
“Angels? I don’t think so, Sam… Vampires are all the same, Sam. We have to exterminate every last one of them….. I’m not much of a praying type………..If it’s supernatural, we kill it. End of story………”
He swallowed hard as he thought back to those words, said on different occasions. He thought a little harder before looking to the road. “That’s our job….”